Friday, June 20, 2008

And Then He Kissed Me

I'm continuously amazed how many people use one term in particular to find this little blog 'o stoopidity on a fairly regular basis.

Signs He Like Me remains at the top of the charts. Which really kind of worries me. First, I wrote that long, long ago. Second, I can't believe that the women-folk aren't able to tell if a guy likes her.

I've long considered the woman to the brains of most relationships. So if she doesn't know what's going on, that's not a good sign. Whether you've read it correctly or not.

No wonder all these people are having trouble finding that certain person who is their density. That person they want to drive crazy the rest of their lives. That person who they want to hate them in 6 to 8 months. That person they want to give half their stuff to.

So I'm starting this valuable service. Since people somehow can't figure out if others like them, I'll do it.

Just send me a dollar and I'll use a proprietary, highly scientific method involving involuntary muscular responses, the lunar phase, body language, and 17 other personality traits to make a determination. Oh, and I'll need their email address for this highly customized form.

Don't try this at home. Only a certified, professional relationship expert can do this type of highly scientific analysis. And if you're still not fully satisfied with this amazing service, I can also ask if he likes you likes you.

You can't get any more scientific than that.


Laura said...

The check-a-box design is just beautiful. Middle school girls did have all the luck.

Anonymous said...

I'm glad I'm off the market because frankly, the pressure would be too great.

Gideon said...

Where do I send my dollar too?

Wicked H said...

Cha CHING!!!

Who knew it was so easy?

Damn you eHarmony and!!!

Swistle said...

Okay, I love this. LOVE.

kitkat said...

Looking back, my relationships were a lot easier than I thought at the time. I could have benefited from your check in the box service. I was an idiot.

Reigning Frog said...

You need to take this to the informercial level and offer 2 for $19.95. Could that also come with a Foreman Grille and a side of Oxyclean?

Dunebuggy said...

It might sell better if you included oxycontin.

That way if the no box is checked, you don't feel so bad.

Dani said...

This is pure genius. It could save the world a lot of time. Seriously.