Monday, June 30, 2008

Cult of Personality

I had my first run in with the FLDS this weekend. At the golf course. Seriously.

What else would you call a group of 24 people with no women anywhere in sight with lots of teenage kids who are suspiciously the same age? Oh, and all had slicked back hair with big ears and weak chins. And dressed completely in long pants and long sleeve shirts. Who had clearly never played golf before ever.

They even carried their bags. I don't mean carried like schlepped around. I mean carried in both arms like it was a sack of potatoes and not slung over their shoulder like you should.

And carried enormous jugs of water. I talking 2 gallon Coleman water coolers like they were going on some expedition to the Sahara. Of course if I were going to golf in long pants and a long sleeve shirt, I might bring a little extra refreshment as well.

I did overhear a couple of the kids talking about computer memory as it relates to being able to compile your family tree.

I'm just glad there was neither a raid nor gunplay during the round. I wish this lil anecdote had a better ending. But it was just golfing behind some folks that were a little different. Oh, and I cursed as often and as loudly as possible whenever I missed a putt. Also, they wouldn't gamble with us. I was hoping I could win another wife or two. Because with those weak chins they could use some good Midwestern breeding stock.

4 comments:

kris said...

Imagine if we introduced my chin into the lineage? And my ample arm hair? Goodness gracious.

Reigning Frog said...

How many times did the opening notes of "Dueling Banjos" play in your mind?

Dani said...

This is most creepy... what were they doing off their "ranch?"

(ranch=compound)

heartinhand said...

Ahhh, I'm glad you have people in your neighborhood to provide such lovely blog fodder!

They don't call golf "Whack-Fuck" for nothing! And by they I mean me.