Because this post will concern the subject of religion, if you're easily offended by this type of discussion, please feel free to quit reading now.
They gone? Okay.
To: The Jebus Freaks Who Insist On Early Morning Prayer Meetings
From: The Quiet One Just Trying to Read
Re: Your Conduct
Having been raised properly in the Midwest, I am not a verbally expressive man. One should know that denial can get you through most any socially awkward situation.
I also understand that you are so filled with the faith and power of Sweet Baby Jesus (SBJ) that you can't possibly wait to talk about it with your close circle of friends/cultists.
Unless you want me to start making omelettes in your church, shut the fuck up with the Sunday school/prayer circle in my restaurant.
Wow, that felt good. Yes, I know SBJ loves me. He made bacon.
And because you believe in Jesus, you have to forgive me. Sucks to be you.