Friday, May 11, 2007

Since I'm Going to Hell Anyway

Because this post will concern the subject of religion, if you're easily offended by this type of discussion, please feel free to quit reading now.

They gone? Okay.

To: The Jebus Freaks Who Insist On Early Morning Prayer Meetings
From: The Quiet One Just Trying to Read
Re: Your Conduct

Having been raised properly in the Midwest, I am not a verbally expressive man. One should know that denial can get you through most any socially awkward situation.

I also understand that you are so filled with the faith and power of Sweet Baby Jesus (SBJ) that you can't possibly wait to talk about it with your close circle of friends/cultists.

Unless you want me to start making omelettes in your church, shut the fuck up with the Sunday school/prayer circle in my restaurant.

Wow, that felt good. Yes, I know SBJ loves me. He made bacon.

And because you believe in Jesus, you have to forgive me. Sucks to be you.

Love,

t2ed

5 comments:

Wicked H said...

I'll be in row G in Hell, stop by and visit!

Reigning Frog said...

How's this for irony? I work at a church (egro SBJ is my BOSS) and I AGREE with you!

kris said...

Bwaaaahahahahaha!

Nice use of SBJ, by the way. ;)

latt├ęgirl said...

I was just writing about bloody church bells yesterday.

In a restaurant? Don't they know churches are dying for congregations?

Sheesh.

Iwanski said...

Amen.