Guinness the Wonder Dog says, "Hi." Oh, and he wants a steak sandwich.
He's so smart that he learned to shake in just one day. In fact, he's such a quick study that he doesn't even wait for you to say "shake." He just puts his paw on you to signal that he's ready for more food.
But he did tell me this really great dog joke:
A guy was looking at the classified ads in Florida and saw a ad that says "Talking Dog $20." So he goes to the house listed in the ad and asks the owner what the deal was with the talking dog. The owner said he was in the back bedroom.
Sitting on a bed with a tv remote in hand, the dog looks up and says, "Hey, how you doing?"
The guy is flabbergasted, "You're really a talking dog! What heck are you doing here in Florida?"
"Well," the dog says, "let me tell you."
"I was at Ground Zero on 9/11 and helped save people who were buried in the debris. Then I was in the Gulf War for a while bringing medicine to injured soldiers. Then I helped sniff for terrorist bombs at the JFK. Then I was on Broadway in Riverdance. Then I helped patrol the border and sniff out drug runners before my partner got shot. It all just got to be too much. So I retired down here."
The guy goes out into the other room and says, "This is amazing. How can you sell a dog like that for only twenty dollars?"
The owner replies loud enough for the dog in the other room to hear, "Cause he's a BIG LIAR!"
Yeah, I thought a joke telling dog was amazing too. But he stole that joke from Rob Haney.