Viva Las Vegas

Last weekend was the time I would typically go to Ohio to play in a golf tournament with my cousin, my Pop, and my uncle (Dad's brother). Unfortunately, because this tournament is populated mostly with guys my Pop went to high school with (and he's 75 now), we lacked critical mass this year to have the event. Simply put, too many of the old farts are dead, dying or otherwise unable to golf anymore.

So we decided not to lose the weekend and go to Vegas. Except my Dad and Uncle pimped my cousin and me and didn't show. We had fun anyway. Even though it was godawful hot. 110 F every day (that's 43 C to you international readers) and just walking half a block (and Vegas has long blocks) caused you to break a sweat.

My cousin played golf both days. I was too big a puss and stayed inside by the nice, cool craps tables and tried to win a little dorame (that's dough-ray-me). A big hunk of sugar like me will just melt in weather that hot.

Here's the quick recap:

• The Paris hotel is nice and fairly centrally located.
• Don't get all the hubbub about Wynn's new place. It's big, garishly colored and you can gamble there. Wow, there's no place else like that in Vegas.
• Danny Gans is okay but not worth $100. 20% of his act was great, 40% was so so, and 20% could have been anyone. One of the guys said he could do that act.
• Commander's Palace has a great jazz brunch and an even better bloody mary
• I missed my wife.
• I can't handle that many people for that long without a break. In the mornings I had to go down to the pool before it opened and read while no one was around. That crush of humanity (most of whom don't seem to know how to walk with a purpose) drove me nuts.
• I sleep like shit on a plane.
• I can cross professional gambler off my alternate career list. I can't live on $30 a day in winnings. Especially when I want to eat at Commanders Palace every day. At least I finished up for the weekend. One of the guys we were with lost 2 grand. The only machine he won at was the ATM and that popped him for $4.
• The monorail ran like a charm while I was there. $3 from one end of the Strip to the other. Beats the crush of humanity trying to walk on the Strip.

It was good to get away from work, but the three hour time change from the East coast really messes you up.