Friday, August 19, 2005

Never Trust Lawyers Who Say "Amen"

The first Vioxx trial just finished. Merck got fucked. The jury awarded the widow of a 59 year old man 253.4 million dollars. I'm kind of wondering how they got to the 3.4 million part.

"Is 250 million enough?"

"No, add another 3.4 million and we're out of here."

Now, don't get me wrong. Merck must have messed something up, but is a 59 year old guy worth more than 250 million dollars?

I'm no shrinking violet, but I don't think I'm worth 250 million dollars. And I'm sure my wife, my boss and most of my clients would more than agree with that assessment. I'm struggling to think of who might be worth 250 million dollars. I know Terrell Owens isn't. HA! And you thought I'd let it go.

Now you know why attorneys forum shop and pick and choose where they file cases so they can get large verdicts. It works.

My favorite part of the story: Plaintiff Carol Ernst began to cry when the verdict was read while her attorneys jumped up and shouted, "Amen!"

I know I want to say "Jesus Christ" right now.

The good news is that those gospel-loving barristers are probably about 8.5 million dollars richer. Wow, I should have chased a few more ambulances when I practiced law.


kris said...

F**k TO, that media whore! Wait, what?

Was there a choir backing up the attorneys in the courtroom?

I'm going to go watch A Time to Kill now.

t2ed said...

I'm pretty proud I got through an entire post without a TO rant.

Baby steps....