If you lost your puppy and you've recently been in Provo, the city wants to talk to you. Do you own one of those hooks used to remove manhole covers? Hmmmm, extremely suspicious if you ask me. Must be the shift eyes.
My favorite quote: "We're like the hurricane victims."
Um, no. You do have raw sewage coming out of your toilet, but you still have a house. And when everything is cleaned up, you'll still be in Provo.
Ah, Provo. Where the women are women and the men are too.