Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Two Left Feet

They've announced the cast for Dancing with the Nobodies Stars and I'm really amazed to see that it includes the soon-to-be ex Mrs. McCartney, Heather Mills.

ABC (aka shameless corporate hacks) are positioning the participation of Ms. Mills as a dramatic example of the majesty of the human spirit. It seems a lot more mundane than that. They just want to see if someone with her particular...ummm... attribute can still dance. That's tokenism.

I just hope one of the dances everyone is forced to do is the Moonwalk.

In any event, here's some songs I'm guessing you won't be hearing in the upcoming season:

  • Born to Run (Bruce Springsteen)
  • At the Hop (Danny and the Juniors)
  • The Hokey Pokey
  • The Stroll (The Diamonds)
  • I Ran (Flock of Seagulls)
  • Jump Around (House of Pain)
  • Legs (ZZ Top)
  • Runaway (Bon Jovi)
  • One Step Closer (Doobie Brothers)
  • Drop Dead Legs (Van Halen)
  • Running down a Dream (Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers)
  • Jump, Jive and Wail (Louis Prima)
  • Hot Legs (Rod Stewart)
  • Lean on Me (Ben E. King)
  • The Hop (Arrowsmith)
  • Walk on the Wild Side (Lou Reed)
  • Get a Leg Up (John Mellencamp)
  • These Boots Were Made for Walkin' (Nancy Sinatra)
  • Come on Eileen (Dexy's Midnight Riders)
  • I Get a Kick Out of You (Francis Xavier Sinatra)
  • Gimme Three Steps (Lynyrd Skynyrd)
  • Boogie Shoes (KC & the Sunshine Band)

All right, I'll shut up now. Yes, I already know I'm going to hell.

Feel free to play along at home, kids.


Kim said...

How about:

Walk This Way - Aerosmith

Walk On - U2

Walk Like An Egyptian - The Bangles

Pieces of Me - Asslee Simpson

Jumpin' Jumpin' - Destiny's Child

and my personal favorite

Mamas Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Slutbag Whores Who Try To Screw Over Former Beatle And Saint, Sir Paul McCartney - Unknown

Wicked H said...

I think you and Kim have covered this. Well done. Bravo!

t2ed said...

I thought "Mamas, Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to be Slutbag Whores" was a Streisand tune.

Jamie said...

Yeah, I looked at the list and went, wtf? She isn't perseverence, she's a hack! They are going into this like people LIKE her, we want her to FALL, don't mess with PAUL!

Hey.. that rhymes!

tkkerouac said...

very funny, I like your thumbnail.

Misplaced said...

You Better Run - The Beatles
Old Brown Shoes -The Beatles
Band On The Run- Paul McCartney
That Bird has only one Leg- Paul McCartney

latt├ęgirl said...

Heather Mills has a peg leg?

t2ed said...

People just watch this show because they want to see a dancer crash. It's just like lobster racing.