There Are No Losers

If you're in New York on the 31st, you've got to check this out. It's the Countours International Lingerie Awards at the Waldorf Astoria. The event will "celebrate the industry and acknowledge the high levels of creativity and design, and innovation of modern day fit and comfort that have been achieved." It's not just a scam to look at boobies. It's not, I tell you.

There are 17 categories including best T-shirt bra, best daywear, best technical innovation, best D+ size and best maternity.

Now I'll have to confess my ignorance of this topic. All I know about bras is that I like what's in them. Especially when they're out of them.

But there are t-shirt bras? What's the diff from a regular or non-t-shirt bra?

I'm just glad I didn't have to write the press release that pimps this. I think I'd have gone with just the headline "Who wants to look at boobies?" No one appreciates the direct approach though.

I've also never heard of Contours Magazine. But then I've never really understood lingerie. I mean, lingerie never clinched a deal for me. By the time I ever saw the underthings of a potential mate, the deal had been clinched. Good underwear (or bad underwear) wouldn't have changed how things were going to work their way out. It's like a great present wrapping job on a pair of socks. The wrap job won't change how I feel about the present.

I just hope the Cleavacious is going to get recognized. You remember the Cleavacious. It's the magic adjustable bra that allows you to pull up "the girls" for enhanced demonstration.

If the Cleavacious doesn't win, this thing has got to be a scam. It's not about the lingerie. It's all about who the lingerie knows.