This Just In From Ohio

I got nothing this morning. It's Africa hot in the great, grey North and I'm completely unprepared. A big hunk of sugar like me just melts in weather like this. Even driving with the top down and eating ice cream wasn't enough to cool me off so I could come up with some witty repartee. So in the event of heat brain cramp, go with your old standby--making fun of Ohio nutjobs.

This is pretty hard to believe. You know those swell live on the scene reports you see on tv. Well they may be staged. I'm shocked to find gambling in Casablanca. Even more so to find it in Ohio.

In Norwalk, Ohio, television camerman Gary Abrahamsen of WEWS in Cleveland (and yes, you should be hearing that in the voice of Ted Baxter to make it more tv sounding) allegedly asked a couple of teenagers to ride their bikes through some floodwaters. And in return, they'd get to be on tv! Wow, a real live tv appearance! Woo hoo!

Due to some kind of archaic Ohio legal mumbo jumbo, intrepid cameraman Gary Abrahamsen got in trouble for this. He paid a fine of $145 to settle a charge of misdemeanor disorderly conduct. And he was just making swell tv.

Now I don't know what type of conduct is considered misdemeanorish or disorderly in Ohio, but to fine this swell tv type just for talking some teenagers into riding into floodwaters seems a bit extreme. I mean it was for tv for crying out loud.

And since they made their own reporter go into the water as well, it couldn't have been that dangerous. You can't get into any trouble with electronic equipment around water, can you?

I'm just proud to live in a country that allows us to do stupid stuff and put in on television. Especially Ohioans doing stupid stuff on Ohio television.

Now do we have any more shots of people I don't know getting hit in the groin? Man, that swell kind of tv never gets old.