You Know I Can't Dance

Wow, didn't think I'd be quoting Leo Sayer anytime this year. And Leo, "international acclaimed singer songwriter entertainer?" *choke* That's bullshit. I thought you were dead. At least your career.

Which brings us to these folks from Dancing With the Stars:

Lisa Rinna: Never heard of you.
George Hamilton: Zorro the Gay Blade and Love at First Bite. You're more famous for being famous than you really are in terms of famousity.
Giselle Fernandez: Another blank. Who?
P. Miller (aka Master P): Some rapper. What he sang, I have no idea.
Tia Carrere: From Wayne's World to this? How the mightly have fallen.
Kenny Mayne: He's always been pretty funny on ESPN. I'm hoping he thinks this is just a big goof. A gig's a gig and rent is rent after all.
Tatum O'Neal: The only more tragic figure than Tia. She won an Academy Award for god's sake. I hope papa Ryan is really embarrassed. Participation may just be a desperate ploy to get work again.
Jerry Rice: You're going to take shit at every 49er's reunion for the rest of your life.
Stacy Keibler: Another blank. Seriously, who are these people? This isn't even the D List. Was Kathy Griffin not available? Because she'll say yes to anything.
Drew Lachey: When they're having to introduce you as Nick's brother, that's a pretty good indication you're no one.

I swear this list should be followed by "And Lo, the Seventh Seal Opened and armageddon was upon us.

Don't watch this shit, people. If you watch crap like this, they put it on again. Read a book. Talk to a loved one. Go buy a TIVO so you can watch whatever you want, whenever you want. Just say "HELL NO" to this kind of crap.

Hollywood is derivative. There are no new ideas. We're already getting skating because of the dancing. I can't believe that Celebrity Colonoscopy is far away. Oh, wait, Katie Couric already did that. Maybe Celebrity Mammograms. I'm sure Fox is working on that. And with boobies, you know it'll be a hit.