Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Flipper Over

In Jerusalem, a lady recently married a dolphin. Yes, you read that correctly. She married a dolphin. Not a Miami Dolphin, but an an actual aquatic mammal.

Sharon Tendler married Cindy in a modest ceremony at the Dolphin Reeef in Southern Israel.

Now I don't want to get off on a rant here about interspecies mating, but if the dolphin is male, why is he named Cindy? Is that an Israeli thing?

Quote of the story: It's not a perverted thing. I do love this dolphin. He's the love of my life.

I'm sure no one could see a story about a woman marrying a dolphin and think it's a perverted thing. No one was even thinking about that. I'm amazed you even thought to bring it up.

You know this won't work out. She lives in London while he's in a tank in Israel. I wonder if he married her just to get a green card. Does England have green cards? Well, he married her to get whatever the English equivalent to our green card is.

And does he get to be her beneficiary? If there's a suspicious fish accident and she winds up dead, you know Cindy is going to be the prime suspect. It's always the spouse. I can just see on Israel CSI, where the main character yells right into the camera, "This was no boating accident!"

The story doesn't say anything about their honeymoon. I'm sure he wanted to go swimming and play. She was probably sad that he didn't want to cuddle and talk about their feelings. She probably also didn't appreciate the fish breath.

I didn't realize we were so far behind Israel. We don't even have gay marriage and they have interspecies marriage. You just know this will lead to some guy wanting to marry his truck... or beer.

5 comments:

Kim said...

Can you marry a beer? 'Cause I do love my beer and hopefully that would get my mom off my back about getting married.

t2ed said...

Kim, do you take Bud to be your lawfully wedded husband till empty do you part?

And Bud, do you promise to nourish, refresh and buzz Kim till hungover do you part?

You may now shotgun the groom.

Meh, I've seen relationships that won't last as long as you and Bud. I still think this is just an elaborate ploy to drink all of Bud's family at the reception.

Spinning Girl said...

This cannot be true. If it is, I will need to hurt myself.

Dolphins, however, ARE known to be extremely horny. They often try to hump people who get in the water with them, and get huge har ... ummm ... hugely aroused when harassing younger dolphins.

Can I marry my down comforter? Cuz it's gettin' a lot of play, these days.

Anonymous said...

Actually, Israel doesn't have "interspecies marriage". As the article itself points out, the marriage is not legally binding.

Anonymous said...

Rob, it was clearly impled in the article that Israel would soon allow interspecies mating.

If Canada went gay (allowing same sex marrying), you know Israel will go gray.