I realize that it's too late to pull these off for Thanksgiving. Thus, trot these out for Xmas.
#1) Take the neck of the turkey and insert it into your fly. Answer the door with it hanging out of your pants. Do not mention the "exposure" to anyone. Act as if it's completely natural.
#2) Cook a cornish game hen the day before dinner. Insert it into the turkey prior to cooking. When the turkey is done, remove the hen and loudly proclaim, "We must have gotten a pregnant bird." This really freaks out the pro-lifers. Eventually explain to them that turkeys lay eggs. Dummies.
#3) Post a sign at work (anonymously of course) that promises free turkeys to anyone who shows their badge or business card at a local grocery store. Explain that it's a "Your Business" Customer Appreciation Event. Just go talk to the manager and request your free turkey. Yes, you will have people you work with who are gullible enough to fall for this.
Have fun kids!
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3 comments:
I have no idea what you look like, but now I have this image of you with a disgusting purplish, spiny thing sticking out of your pants.
Thanks.
Is it at all strange that I've always pictured you that way?
You can also do a little puppet show with the giblets.
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