Shameless Corporate Shilling (Updated)

I've said it before and I'll say it again: I love corporate shilling. I get such joy from reading some flack's copy that is utter bullshit and that doesn't even pass the straight face test. I don't know why I'm wired that way, but I find this crap hi-fucking-larious.

If you used to live in Clark, Texas, now you live in DISH, Texas. Yes, wily corporate weasels are rubbing their hands together over this coup.

Rejected names for Dish, TX included:

• You'll have to buy another receiver if you want two shows, TX
• More porn than you can possibly consume, TX
• Damn that's a big saucer, TX
• Nothing good is on, TX
• Reality shows still suck, TX

This idea might catch on. What if other companies sponsored other cities?

• Love Canal, renamed Trojan, NY
• Salt Lake City renamed Budweiser, UT
• Kansas City renamed Chili's Babyback Ribs, MO
• New York City renamed Kevlar Jacket, NY

Maybe you can think of others kids? I've been laying off the creativity juice lately so I'm not hitting on all cylinders in the craziness department lately.

UPDATED 11/23: Per Kris's request, here add my add on's for our nation's capitol: (yes it really is that slow at work today)

DC would probably have to be auctioned off to the highest bidder:

• Chico's Bail Bonds, DC (for those pesky indictments)
• Pinkerton, DC (for all your special investigatory needs)
• Charles Schwab, DC (because we know Senators have all the best stock tips)
• Hustler, DC (we know how you pick your interns)
• eBay, DC (because everyone is for sale)
• Sprint, DC (because you need anytime minutes when all you do is talk)
• Ogilvy & Mather, DC (because it's all about the spin)
• Kodak, DC (for all those photo ops)
• Michelin, DC (we never leak)
• Federal Express, DC (when the bribe absolutely, positively has to be there overnight)
• The National Guard, DC (all the photo ops, none of the danger)
• Crack, DC (good enough for Marion, good enough for you)