Pussy Wagon

Hi kids! Long time, no show. I know, I KNOW already. But with the new hurricane bearing down on Virtucon, the confirmation hearings, and me being on crutches and all. What? I forgot to mention that? Okay, I'll post about it later. For now, focus on the world and not on me and feast your lil peepers on this.

'I love you because you have a BMW'

I know that some chicks dig cars and all...but seriously. And I didn't know the Chinese had such a hankering for Kraut-mobiles either. Sorry, but that's what they are.

I think it's funny that the slipshod reporting that goes on in China didn't get the complete story. Well, this reporter (oooh, I love doing that) went the extra mile and got to the bottom of the situation.

The note was left by one Ma Hao Kai (loosely translated as Hoochie Mama). Her hobbies are stalking and talking to the voices in her head. She left the note after watching the owner park his BMW there for several years. She already has their elaborate wedding planned and names for their three children picked out. She'd like to lose her virginity in the back seat of the Beemer and also owns several cats.

If you're wondering about the "brief personal description" the actual note read:

Hi! I really like your car and would like to go for a ride. In the car, ha ha. I have short black hair, brown eyes, am single and crazy. I hope this note doesn't have the sweaty stench of desperation all over it, because I'm really very nice. Do you like me? Check Yes or No below. If you like me, please leave your car unlocked tomorrow and I will sleep in the back seat while you go to work. Yours, Ma Hao.

But this love story does have happy ending. While the BMW owner hasn't yet answered her not, he has begun parking it somewhere else. Playing hard to get obviously......