Wednesday, July 13, 2005

Big Bold Brazilian Bandits

I've said it before, and I'll say it again. A truism of life is "Men Love Boobies."

As exhibit A, the following armed robbery caper from Brazil:

Brazilian bandits pull off big boob job

It's true, I'm not making it up. You like the headline writer's reference to "big" as a double entendre to the size of the caper? That kind of subtle humor isn't lost upon me.

It's more interesting to learn that each implant had a number. Because of this low level registration, anyone with a "hot boobie" (quit laughing, I'm being serious here) could only use that implant for an illegal operation.

Now aside from stealing these for the best paperweight ever, what's the point? Are these faux-torso theives really going to peddle these on the black market for implants? I just have trouble imaging a Brazilian in an alley wearing a trenchcoast whispering, "I got two" to passersby.

Maybe the manufacturer is stealing back their own implants in an effort to cut supply and drive up costs? That's pretty complicated for an implants that only costs $800 per pair. I blame Karl Rove for making me think this deviously.

Jimmy Breslin wrote "The Gang That Couldn't Shoot Straight." Will this gang with their misbegotten mammaries be known as The Gang That Couldn't Dress Straight? Yes, I admit that was an extremely long way to go for that. Mea culpa.

Just stupid stuff for a hump day....

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