Saturday, March 28, 2009

Talking in Your Sleep


Man I hate it when I can't sleep.

And it's like a law that whenever I'm doing my best bed burrito, death roll crocodile impression, the Wife slumbers like a rock. A noisy, completely blissful rock.

It's only when I'm completely exhausted that really bad ideas come to mind.
  • Why don't I do a parody of Bob Seger's Night Moves but call it Night Poots?
  • Why don't I start a doggie day care?
  • Why don't they play basketball this late at night on tv?
  • Why don't we have a sleep number bed?
  • Why didn't I drink more last night?
  • Why don't they give Barack a weekly show?
  • Why hasn't baseball started yet?
  • Why don't they do a remake of Footloose? (too late)
  • Why ask why?
  • Why can't a vampire bite one of the Jonas Brothers?
  • Why did Barack say there are no silver bullets? Now the werewolves will be fearless.
  • Why do I have Big Country stuck in my head?
Now I gotta go get a nap. Which I won't be able to fall asleep for?

3 comments:

Roxrocks said...

Here's one from me that I KNOW you can't add...

"Why is that fucking moose bawling at 4am?! Are they planning a party in my yard?"

True story. I'm totally dysfunctional today.

Roxrocks said...

PS. I love the whole song title thing. LOVE IT!

foundinidaho said...

There's nothing wrong with Big Country being stuck in your head. Because they're Scottish. Yeah!