Thursday, March 12, 2009

Take It Easy

If you hadn't heard, Arizona doesn't have a state motto. I know!

As a former Wildcat, I'm astonished. Especially since I know all sorts of worthless Arizona facts. Like it became a state on February 14th at the same time as New Mexico. Yup, Arizona was #49.

While doing research for a school report, California 5th grader Tori Smith discovered that Arizona had never officially adopted The Grand Canyon State as it's motto. Bet a bunch of prisoners are pretty pissed off about all the extra work they've been doing.

Luckily, Arizona lawmaker Sam Crump stepped up to the plate. As he put it, "If we don't, Las Vegas is likely to steal it." Ummm, yeah. Guess geography isn't really a requirement to be an Arizona State Representative. Guess I missed when Las Vegas became a state.

Anyway, Grand Canyon State? Seriously. That's the best you can do?

Enough fooling around. Let's get to the list.

Top Ten Rejected Arizona State Mottoes

10) Don't hold John McCain against us
9) We have Spring Training if you're tired of the fast-paced play of regular baseball
8) Land of Aaaahhhz
7) Sure it's 115, but it's a dry heat
6) Arizona: We like Nevada on top
5) Charles Barkley got the best oral sex of his life here. So we'll see you this weekend.
4) I'm going back to 'Zona
3) Even we forgot we had a football team
2) Old people come here to die
1) Damn, that's a big canyon!

I'd like to point out the restraint I showed in not including "Most skin cancer is treatable" and "The scorpion is the state bird" in that. Restraint doesn't happen very often around here. Unless you're counting the fuzzy handcuffs.

Anyway, when Land of Aaaahhhz get stolen, I'm going to want a check from somebody.

3 comments:

Roxrocks said...

Do they have hockey there? Because if not, I'm moving.

foundinidaho said...

"Arizona - We Think Las Vegas Is A State".

You're welcome.

reigningfrog said...

How about, "Even Barack Obama won't make us observe Martin Luther King, Jr. Day."