Wednesday, March 25, 2009

My Humps

If you're a young lady from Huntington Beach, California and used a fake identity to get some fake breasts, police would like a word with you.

Police say a woman opened a line of credit under a false identity and then used that fake identity to get $12,000 worth of both breast implants and liposuction. Then she skipped town. That's the way it always works. They always skip town instead of just sticking with the weight loss pills and a Cleavacious. Who knew buying breasticles cost that much?

And this faux fatale (thanks, I'm here all week) didn't come back for her follow up visits. I know. Poor thing probably needs immediate follow up tlc. But really, shouldn't the doctor have had some clue. She did use the name Betty Boob after all.

Now if the police were smart, they'd be putting out a different type of mugshot. Because then pretty much every man would volunteer to be on the look out for this fugitive.

Someone with fake breasts hiding out in California? Police have narrowed it down to an estimated 7 million suspects. That's hiding in plain sight alright. They'll never find her now. Unless she lays down on her back. Then you can totally tell.

Don't mess with nature, kids. You're fine just as you are. Promise.


Roxrocks said...

I've never understood the allure of the fake boobs. Hell, I'm not even sure I understand the allure of real boobs.

I've always wondered if guys know the boob is fake, how can they still like it since it's not even a real boob? And who in their right mind thinks that bigger is better?

Oy, the world!

foundinidaho said...

What Roxrocks said.