Paperback Writer

As proof that crime does pay, we submit the following.

Former Illinois Gov. Blogo has signed a book deal reportedly worth 6 figures. Wow, he'd usually have to sell two Senate seats for that kind of coin.

But the crack ups at the Tribune asked readers what the tome should be titled.

Sure, they came up with some good ones. I particularly like The Grapes of Graft and James and the Giant Impeach.

But to really get these books flying off the shelves, may I suggest the following:

• Lord of the Stings
• The Court of Money Blogo
• Where the $*)@*(# Money Things Are
• On The Take
• Of Human Bonds or Stocks
• Slimedog Thousandaire
• The Strangest
• A Weasel in Time
• Assbag Shrugged
• The Sun Also Is For Sale
• The Age of No Innocence
• Blogo's Web (of Lies)
• Robby in Funded-land
• Crime & More Crime
• Bribe, the Beloved Country
• The Tip Jar
• To Fleece a Mockingbird
• How the West Was Won on Ebay
• Gone with the Bid
• Brideshead Resold
• Memoirs of a Weasel
• The Color Green
• Sponsorship Down
• The Five Assbags You Meet In Office
• Dork of Darkness
• Remains of the Pay

Feel free to play along at home, kids. And get that Amazon pre-order in now. Everyone is going to hear what this esteemed author has to say.