Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Until You Drop

I have a confession to make. I hate shopping. Even online shopping. I just don't have the attention span to go up and down aisles in the store. I really hate grocery stores. I won't ever take a cart so I wind up carrying all my potential purchases around like a lower tier homeless person. Nor will I use those lame red baskets that always make me feel like Red Riding Hood and make we want to skip through the store. And they always put the baskets in the front. Why don't they put them randomly in the aisles for dopes like me who never grab a basket when they come in until they realize there's no way to carry around deodorant, a 12 pack, band aids and Italian bread until they're miles away from the front of the store?

And for some reason, despite all the improvements in search engine technology, I can't ever seem to find what I want.

Sure, I've tried Froogle in the past, but I was never that impressed. I mean how hard can it be to find the soundtrack to The Sure Thing just so you can finally score Ray Charles' version of Just Because? That's a quest I've actually given up on. When and if I ever do stumble across that soundtrack, I'm betting it's in vinyl so I'll be screwed anyway.

I especially hate shopping at the Gap. I actually believe that the Gap may have little shopping avatars on their web site that when you click on them for help, they actually ignore you just like in the real store. Or maybe you can hear them talk about their boyfriend. Or about how she's not going to work one second past five no matter what that stuck up manager thinks.

But there are some comparison sites that people seem to rave about to do a little online price compare.

The problem is that I don't really buy on price. Usually, I'm looking for something specific. If I can find it is the determining factor. How much is generally an afterthought. That being said, there's nothing like scoring a disposable piece of clothing.

Disposable clothing is anything that's marked down so much, that rather than wash it, you could just throw it away and would still be perfectly happy you bought it. Sure sometimes you wander by the sales rack and see that paisley shirt with the wide lapels and wonder, "Golly, why is this marked down? I can't believe suckers shoppers haven't snapped this up." Yes, I often have a sarcastic inner dialogue that makes fun of purchasing agents while I roam around during the day. It's just one of the many burdens I bear.

Now I've got to go to the grocery store and buy as much food as I can carry....


Wicked H said...

no online grocery shopping in your new neck of the woods????


couldn't resist said...

I'd pay good money to see you skip around the grocery store with your red basket and little red hood.