Tuesday, January 01, 2008

Come With Me If You Want To Live

Now that our real estate transaction is officially closed, we're packing up all our crap and getting the hell out of Michigan. Oh, and my brother called me during the game to tell me he just read that Michigan leads the entire country in foreclosures. Woo hoo, first murders and now homelessness. We're number 1! We're number 1!

It's somehow fitting that I got to watch my last Lions game on Sunday and they completely packed it in against the Packers. Man did the Lions look like a bunch of guys who would rather be playing golf. No one will be sadder to see Bret Favre finally retire than the Lions. The Lions have never beaten Bret Favre at home. Yes, 17 and 0 is a true exercise in futility.

Appropriately, it's supposed to be bitter cold the two days we're packing and loading the truck. And by "we," I mean the well-trained professionals who were sober at the time the moving truck stopped at the half-way house. Luckily, my brother works for a moving company so he's given me some tips (many, many tips) such as don't let the movers steal your stuff, don't let them drink until the breakables are packed, tip them. I'm not sure exactly how much to tip them. Maybe a simple, "Always bet against the Lions" will suffice.

Anyways, after all the crap is loaded, we are loading up the Super Sport Wagon (in Antarctic Blue, with optional Rally Fun Pack) and driving with the Hound to the Great Divide. I only hope Guinness the Wonder Dog gets a chance to try to take down a buffalo on the Great Plains.

I am really, really looking forward to seeing Michigan in my rear view mirror. And hope we don't get stuck in an ugly snowstorm (or caucus) in Iowa and get forced to go all Donner Expedition while trapped in the snow. I do hope we get to vote several times in their primary. Because it's only appropriate that the state who gave us Erotic Corn Dog Eating Contests also gets to decide who gets to be President. That's actually why I'll vote for Obama six or seven times, because he rocked that contest. Oh, and Oprah told me to.

1 comment:

couldn't resist said...

Didn't the Donner party eat each other? What's wrong with that?