Thursday, December 06, 2007

Wreck the Malls

I'm not saying I know why that poor young man in Omaha, NE snapped yesterday. And if you have a loved one who was hurt, I apologize in advance. But I've got a brother there and a sister in law there and luckily they were both okay despite all the traffic congestion caused by the President. And I know I'm going to Hell anyway. While it's probably too soon, I'm going ahead with this anyway. Let the talking heads on the tv cables continue to natter.

It's just sad that someone had to completely snap to get the stores' attention. Because I knew those Xmas Carols were going to drive somebody nuts sooner or later.

You add a few hundred times hearing the Twelve Days of Christmas to those bell ringers outside of every store and it's only a matter of time.

I don't know when the Salvation Army took over. Seriously, I was in 4 stores today and there was a different person ringing that bell in front of every one of them. I already gave you sonsabitch Bumpuses 18 bags of clothes. Get that bell out of my face.

Did you ever notice how many different ways they can ring it? The soft little ting, ting, ting. Or the middling jingle, jingle, jingle. Or the really loud clang, clang, clang. And they can tell when you've got change and are just being pissy. I swear the last guy rang it right in my face.

And even if you yell "Merry Christmas" while you're slapping that bell out of their hand, they won't say "God bless us, everyone."

A little personal side note. I've been to both the Trolley Square mall in Salt Lake City (where the guy shot up the joint last year) and the Westroads mall in Omaha where yesterday's tragedy happened. If you see me shopping this holiday, you'd best have your flack jacket with you.

Now go make an elf. It's Wicked Funny and the reason Al Gore invented the interwebs for us. I like the one I did with all celebrity mugshots.

1 comment:

Wicked H said...

Can they add an amendment to the Nobel Peace prize package?