Thursday, December 06, 2007

Full Stop

I don't know why, but whenever Austin Powers is on tv, I absolutely have to stop until this scene is on:

My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink, he would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Some times he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy, the sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical, summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds, pretty standard really. At the age of 12 I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen, a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum, it's breathtaking, I suggest you try it.

If that doesn't make you giggle, you need to find a tall, tall building. I'd like to see the kind of corporate performance management Dr. Evil would bring to the work place.

Do other people suffer from this affliction of having to stop for particular movie scenes or it just me?

1 comment:

Reigning Frog said...

1. Beetlejuice "Day-O" Dance scene
2. Crocodile Dundee when he grabs the crotch of the Tranny
3. Clear & Present Danger when Willem DeFoe assembles his team of covert US military (The Quarter Pounder sniper)
4. Patriot Games when the Ryan family stealths down their own roof to escape the renegade IRA
5. Back to the Future when Yellow Darth Vader visits the Dad
6. Christmas Story-- "Sons of Bitches, Bumpasses!"

I'm sure there are more...