Okay, not exactly right now.
But tomorrow, Friday, at 6:08 GMT, you're supposed to have an orgasm. Yes, World Orgasm Day is supposed to "effect positive change in the energy field of the Earth through input of the largest possible instantaneous surge of human biological, mental and spiritual energy." Unfortunately, that's 1:08 for this soon to be ex Midwestern boy. I'm probably be stacking z's in my memory foam mattress unless the Wife and I can sneak in a nap.
Why do I think this is just a couple of horny frat boys? According to Fox News (and they're never wrong, Global Orgasm is the brain child of Donna Sheehan and Paul Reffell, co-founders of the anti-war organization Baring Witness, a group of activists who strip to make public peace displays with their naked bodies.
I guess I'm a little hazy about how being naked or having orgasms helps world peace. But let's not let a lot of facts or logic get in the way of a good publicity stunt. That was "stunt" by the way. Maybe you can't hold a gun if your hands are shaking?
And in case there's not enough pressure on reaching orgasm together, you've got to time it for a particular minute. Leave plenty of time for foreplay and cuddling afterwards in the dark, kids. Oh, and don't forget the guilt.
If I'm going to have a pick a movement, I'm getting behind the Swedish Women who are fighting for the right to go topless. Much like Lafayette helped the Americans during the Revolutionary War, it's time for us to send our topless women to Swedend to help our sisters-in-arms (and out of bra's) to find their freedom. Because if women aren't able to expose themselves at football matches, the terrorists have won.