Wednesday, August 23, 2006

With Apologies to Joyce Kilmer

As I sat in a worthless meeting yesterday (3.5 hours, no decisions made), I thought about the inventors of the best product ever. They've had the wisdom to link to me and can tell that my adoration is real. Thus, I am officially declaring myself the Poet Laureate of the Clevacious Adjustable Bra. I'm the Couplet Creator, the Prime Timer Rhymer, the Worse Verse of Reverse, the Prince Charming of No Harming , the King of Swing and All That Thing.

But I have a confession to make. I don't actually know anyone who wears a Cleavacious. Maybe I do and just don't know it. Or maybe they're just not wearing it in the "locked and upright position." So I'll have to confess that my experience with the Cleavacious is in that swell demo on their site. But that limited experience can best be summed up with the phrase "fantabulous."
So it is with that adoration in heart (if not in hand) that I offer the following:

I think that I shall never see
A thing as lovely as a B
Which swells and grows to a C
Or with luck impressive D

And appears quite ostentatious
When enhanced by a Cleavacious.

If worn down, look professional
If up and out, bypass the confessional

Decolletage will enhance
A lady's chance at romance

During the day, keep the girls in
But once the prowls of night begin

For all the men will no doubt shout
"Release them, let the girls come out."

Karey Weyenberg is the inventor
No other bra can make you contentor

So if you want to seem bodacious
And make the men become salacious
Let your bosom appear quite spacious
And get yourself a new Clevacious.

Feel free to submit your own ditties, limericks, couplets and declamations. Bonus points for bongo drum accompaniment.

Now I'm headed Up North for some hijinx and the Christian Electric Music Festival. Gotta get my Jesus Rock On, Party with the People, Dance with the Disciples and Proselytize with the Playas.


Wicked H said...

Enjoy your trip.

For the record, due to your glowing referral I indeed ordered a cleavacious which is on it's way to me soon.

kris said...

You should probably wear these to the concert:

All credit for this find goes straight to Jurgen, man.