I don't know why, but this lil hunk of goofiness is the first search result for this on Google.
I NEED PROFESSIONAL SPANKER FOR MY WIFE IN CARDIFF
Sorry, searcher. I'm strictly amateur. I don't want to lose my status for the Spanking Olympics. That's how they screwed Jim Thorpe.
I know the interweb it great for everything: maps, news, stupid stuff happening in Ohio. I did not put "obtaining professional spanking services" into the category of things improved by the interweb. Obviously, I stand corrected.
Please return to your appointed toil. By the way, does anyone have a hairbrush?