Put Me In Coach, I'm Ready to Play

So it begins....

If you've forgotten, we begin the national pastime today. Yes, the sport that claims to be America's Game is upon us once again. No, I'm not talking about football dammit.

Today (okay last night) is Opening Day. That's right d-a-y. It's supposed to be played during the day. No one ever heard of Opening Night despite what the White Sox and Indians were doing last night on ESPN2. That's right, it was on the duece. That means it definitely doesn't count. And the rain delay, God pissing on Comiskey Park.

Opening Day is for optimists. Everyone thinks they still have a chance. Wait till next year is now. No one has had their hopes and dreams for a post season crushed yet. Even the Detroit Tigers who have had a losing record for the last 12 years. That's right, twelve years. Ever since Illich bought this team, they stunk.

And even though the Tigers open play on the road (and it's a good thing because it's sleeting here right now) with the lowly Royals, they've not been mathmatically eliminated from playoff contention. That'll come in May.

Opening Day in Detroit is an unofficial holiday. Everyone skips work and goes to the game. Where they typically freeze as it's early April. If you're lucky, it'll make 50. That's without the wind. If you do have to work, invariably someone will figure out how to get a tv feed so you can watch while pretending to work.

If it's wrong to hope for an earthquake that destroys both the Chicago White Sox and the Indians, I don't want to be right. That'll just leave Minnesota to worry about and that's plenty for the Tabbies.

It's the smell of ballpark hot dogs mingling with cut grass and stale beer. The sound of the umps and the vendors. Emerging from the concourse into the field proper and being dazzled by the grass, the white of the bags and foul lines stretching into infinity. It's the crack of the bat, the pop of the glove, the bang bang of a throw to first and the runner hitting the base while everyone holds their breath for the ump's signal. Crappy organ music during the 7th inning stretch. Little kids with mitts learning how to score a game on the program insert. Double headers. Fireworks after homers. Walking on peanut shells. Talking with strangers just because they're seated next to you. The thrill of having the bases loaded. Using body English to try to keep a ball fair.

Play ball.