Still Friends?

We've run the gamut of Spring Break mayhem here all week: drinking, wet t-shirt contests, kidnapping, stupidity. But all good things must come to an end. You have to say goodbye to that stranger you macked with when you were wasted and the bar closed and kicked you out.

And it's over for Matt LeBlanc and his wife of three years Melissa LeBlanc nee McKnight. Wow, three years. That's even longer than Joey is going to be on the air.

Why are they getting divorced? No reasons are given in the flacktivity propogated by their respective spokespersons, but I've got a few ideas:

• She's seen his show (with a tip of the cap to my wife who came up with that one on the spot last night while watching the news)
• Endlessly suggesting threesomes with Matthew Perry
• That cute "How You Doon?" line not quite so cute every morning for three straight years
• Constant insistance that orangutangs could play baseball
• When depressed whines that he should have stuck to fighting crime with "The Angels"
• Whenever he misplaces keys, insists they are Lost.....In Space
• Random musings about the undiscovered genius of Married With Children's lesser known characters
• Yelled out "Rachel" while making love
• Dressing up in her clothes "for research"
• Always wants to drive because "he's a pilot"

Okay, two Lost in Space jokes is piling on. I'm sorry. No word on whether this split counts as being on a break.

And if you've had the misfortune to see all of those Matt LeBlanc projects, you need help, my friend.