Bodice Rippers

There's an article online called Erotica Finds Home in Mainstream Publishing which I just don't get. Go ahead and plow through it. If you can't possibly pry yourself away from here (and I can certainly understand how that could happen), let me sum up for you, because there is no time to explain, Inigo Montoya.

• A woman started writing erotica (not porn) for other women.
• The protagonista in these erotic stories is a woman.
• They sold these books over the interweb.
• Old, boring, publishers like Avon and Halequin are now horning in on the action.

The writer seems surprised to find out that sex sells. Even on the internet. Yeah, no one saw that coming despite the fact that every technology enhancement in the past 100 years has been co-opted by porn. Printing = dirty books/magazines. Video tape players = dirty movies. HDTV = High Def Porn.

What I took away from that story is that the names of the characters in these books are complete bullshit. The names used in the four stories discussed are: Karessa, Vienna and Trista. Is it a rule that the names in these books always have to end in a vowel? I know no one by these names. Of course I don't know an Iman, Tyra or Madonna either.

Is it still incomprehensible to the average person that women could enjoy something erotic too? Have the Chippendale's been forgotten that easily. Men in strip clubs look at women like a lion looks at a gazelle. Women look at male dancers like a pack of wolves look at a wounded deer.

Or is it a big deal because it's a woman doing it? I thought we were past all that. I know Katie is going to host the CBS Evening News. Who cares? Has anyone noticed how well the Today Show alum do when they leave: Bryant Gumble, Jane Pauley, Deborah Norville? These aren't exactly wildly successful career arcs post the morning gig.

Isn't the whole deal that when we quit pointing out that it's being done by someone new and different, we're through the issue? It's like when we quit identifying Donovan McNabb as a black quarterback and he's just a quaterback. Katie isn't going to be a female anchor, she's just an anchor.

My department is 85% women. So I can tell you it's no big thing when a woman gets to be in charge around here.

Luckily I will always be Chief Vermin Officer Waste Disposal Pledge at my house. That means I get to kill bugs and take out the garbage. It's a lifetime appointment too so I can pretty much coast.