Thursday, January 22, 2009

Papa Don't Preach

Because I didn't brave the cold, the crowds and the chaos, I didn't see Barack the Vote get sworn in. But then neither did anyone else. Because Chief Justice Roberts effed it up, they had to do a big do-over. Oops!

What do they say in psychiatry? There are no accidents. It's because of the prejudice. Because he's Irish. At least he didn't fall for the "State Your Name" that Roberts tried on him.

And after I got sworn in? It wouldn't be any chaste kiss on the cheek for my hot Chocolate MILF. I'd give the Wife the full lip lock with some grindage and probably even a little assgrab on tv. Of course it's entirely this type of conduct that makes any swearing in ceremony worries not much of a concern for yours truly.

Anyway, before the intertubes get all clogged up with speculation about whether Barack is really the President due to the do-over, you'd better hop on over to what is sure to be the hottest thing ever.

The Pope is getting his own YouTube channel. Man, and you thought it was hard to get people to show up for mass now. Once they find out they can just watch from home, those early Sundays are going to be pretty deserted.

All the details are supposed to be revealed tomorrow. But lucky for you kids, this intrepid reporter has some deep moles on the inside. Here's the real skinny for you. Shhh, it's double top secret. At least until the Flacks get hold of it tomorrow.

While they're still deciding upon the name for the channel, it's down to Bless You Tube or And With You Tube (for both of you Catholics who got that joke, you're welcome).

But it's the content that will really have the masses (get it? It's a gift.) coming back again and again.

Top Ten Pope Videos on You Tube:

10) Pope drops Mentos into Diet Coke
9) Pope skateboards
8) Pope puts all Cardinals' robes in freezer during sleep over
7) Pope does a back flip into his jeans
6) Pope psyches crowd with old pretend to sit down move
5) Pope pretends to be Jack Mehoff and calls Sarah Palin
4) Cardinals retaliate by hiding mitre and replacing with propeller beanie
3) Pope re-retaliates by damning Cardinals
2) Pope has mix up with Arizona Cardinals
1) Pope uses staff to "accidentally" hit crotch of whack job who charged at him

Hey, there's no topping crotch trauma for interweb hilarity.

3 comments:

[F]oxymoron said...

Can YouTube really bear the burden of faith?

Let us pray...

Roxrocks said...

What about the Pope appealing to the youth by doing a video with Miley Sirus...that should be an option.

I didn't watch the innauguration either. I'm watching Survivor Africa with Beautiful Ethan (and running around the house whispering "Beautiful Ethan" in the style of Marilyn Manson) It's winter in Canada, what more do you want from me?!

No one apparently read my Marley and Me book review else all my blog readers would have had a heads up!

Cat said...

If the Pope were Methodist (among others), it would be called Peace Be With You Tube (and also with youtube). Or something like that.

Love the top ten list, but I want to see his royalness (not sure on the lingo here) dance to "Single Ladies" above all else.