Thursday, December 18, 2008

Sticky Fingers

It's almost D day, kids. Well, X day anyway. You've got just a week to come up with some Xmas loot that's going to shut those kids up for a while so you can get some peace and quiet.

Sure, you could call my toll free number at 1-900-SantaMe (only $2.95 per minute) to let your kids pretend to talk to one of Santa's helpers. And if that voice on the other end has an accent that sounds suspiciously like Chinese, don't worry. The Chinese don't celebrate Xmas, but they're really our elves. Because they make all the toys. And hardly and lead in them this year.

And while Santa Claus isn't an international phenomenon (but he has aliases like Father Christmas and Kris Kringle and Jennifer Garner), around the world, kids all want the same thing: a stick.




That's Sean Morey singing in case you didn't recognize him.

Get shopping kids!

4 comments:

Cat said...

Fortunately, with no kids, my holiday obligations begin and end with drinking and boobies.

kitkat said...

I don't know Sean Morey, but that's some funny shit. A fly swatter...

I think I like Cat's version of Christmas, though. What person, young or old, doesn't want booze and boobies for Christmas?

foundinidaho said...

Honestly, the number of times I have had to tell Little Bit "Put down that stick, it isn't coming in the house!"

Not kidding either.

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