I had forgotten that in 'Zona's Southern Capitol, there are some strange things going on.
1) There are an abundance of shitty, little apartments because of the school and the Air Force base.
2) If you are a realtor, you have more clients than actual houses to sell in Tucson.
3) If you're in a bar and your shirt says "DOUCHE" on the front, of course it will say "BAG" on the back.
4) The best restaurants are the ones where you're the only white guy and the menu is in Spanish.
5) It's a dry heat; even if it is 105 F. You're oven on "LOW" is also a dry heat.
6) Old people can't drive. No matter what state they're in.
7) "I drink to make other people interesting" will always be my motto. Thank you Bob Dobb.
8) Your city should have more than 4 streets than run North to South.
9) If it's 80 degrees when you wake up, you're going to need antiperspirant for your balls.
10) When it rains in the desert, it'll be fun when you sit outside. Even if you aren't afraid of lightning.