Friday, August 03, 2007

Keep On Truckin'

If you've got 30 large burning a hole in your pantaloons, feel free to go make a big on Tony Soprano's SUV. Cereal, it's available over on eBay.

You might think it's all fun and games to drive Big Tony's former ride. But there are some quirks to the vehicle:
  • CD stops before completion of any Journey song
  • Interior smells of cigar smoke
  • Driving a former Mob Boss's car is probable cause so you're going to need good truck accident lawyer to get you out of all those scrapes with the Jersey Polices
  • Trunk smells like corpse and has mysterious "mud stains"
  • Some bullet holes in driver's rear quarter panel
  • Plenty of head room for the girls from the Bada Bing
  • Numerous spaghetti sauce stains on upholstery
  • Various bullet casings under carpeting
  • Car shimmies when going faster than 90 from when he ran that guy down
  • Shotgun blasts in ceiling are not technically an after market "moon roof"
  • Trunk can be opened from the inside
  • Explosive devices occasionally discovered underneath chassis
  • Pieces of Phil Leotardo's brain stuck in tread of right front tire
  • A.J. will consistently ask to borrow it
  • Steering wheel doesn't feel right without a pinky ring

Head over and get bidding kids. I want to cruise down to the Stone Pony in style.

3 comments:

Chunks said...

Who's Tony Soprano?

I KID!!

latt├ęgirl said...

You slay me, T!

You also make me miss the Sopranos. *sniff*

But you forgot to mention one of the incentives: If you bid within the next 10 minutes, you get one slightly used prosthetic leg, FREE!

Iwanski said...

It might just be haunted too.