Monday, January 08, 2007

This Just In

I have some disturbing news, kids.

Consider yourself warned.

“I look forward to coming back this year bigger and better than ever, and to also reaching out to my fans on a more personal level. I know I've been far from perfect and the media has had a lot of fun exaggerating my every move..."

Brit, going commando is hardly an exaggeration when your hoo hah pictures are all over the web. And let's face it, when you choose to take a nap in a bar, it's called "passing out" not "exhaustion." Oh, and tell me it's all about the music again.

Marrying an a old friend for a weekend while in Vegas? Marrying a talentless couch monkey who is this generation's Eddie Fischer? Oh yes, just exaggerations by the media.

If you are truly going to "reach out" to me, please keep your hands to yourself.

4 comments:

Reigning Frog said...

Maybe she'll at least stop procreating if she's focused on a comeback.

Any predictions for how her kids will turn out? Porn stars? Rappers? Low life criminals? All of the above?

Hilly said...

Great....I wonder if her idea of being bigger and better is giving everyone the clap.

Iwanski said...

She's going the best fat skank this ol' world ever saw!

Wicked H said...

I am sending her a gallon of hand sanitizer as I type. Indeed, keep those grubby paws away Brittany.