Friday, January 19, 2007

Bad Re-Habits

I wish I could say that I planned this. But you no me better than that. It's just got to be karma, kismet, luck o' the Irish and plain old dumb luck that I heard this right after Lindsay Ho-han (thank you Reigning Frog) took a month off the party circuit.

From the genius that is Heywood Banks:

If you have a
Problem with alcohol,
There are people
That can help you.
And it's the same
With cigarettes and cocaine.

But it's unfortunate
What you're addicted to,
Has no funding for a hotline.
No, there is no
Twelve Step for Stupid.

Stupid has no intervention.
Stupid has no Friend of Bill.
Stupid has no Dumbassaholics Anonymous.
There's no patch to wean an ignoramus.
No Betty Ford for the moronic famous
No, there is no 12 Step for Stupid.

Now if you find yourself
Watching a tv show
That involves dating
Or eating bugs,
You should look at that
As a warning sign.

But if you find yourself
On a tv show
That involves dating
Or eating bugs,
That ends the argument
For intelligent design.

Stupid has no intervention.
Stupid has no Friend of Bill.
Stupid has no Dumbassaholics Anonymous.
There's no patch to wean an ignoramus.
No Betty Ford for the moronic famous
No, there is no 12 Step for Stupid.

Yes, Heywood is the same genius who brought us Big Butter Jesus.

3 comments:

Reigning Frog said...

Anytime

Wicked H said...

I bow to Heywood....

Kris said...

humorous references to drinking just aren't funny. not at all. not even a little bit.