Friday, November 07, 2008

I Want to Hold Your Hand

In what is surely one of the best headlines of the year (bless you CNN):

Women germier than men, study finds

Apparently, for some articles the interns get to do the headlines. I mean "germier?" And the needless comma? Couldn't the study just have been the noun. But I guess anytime you can make up a word like germier, you go with it. If you say it like its French, it sounds a little classier. And may actually be a new hair product.

Anyhoo, by taking DNA from the palms of 51 college students, researchers determined that women (at least in this study) have more bacteria on their palms than men. Mmm, I wonder if they found anything other than bacteria on the palms of male college students? Yeah, probably ink.

The average hand has 150 species of bacteria. EVERYBODY PANIC. And put down that Egg McMuffin.

Scientists aren't sure why women have more bacteria on their hands. It may be because male skin is more acidic or some other scientific mumbo jumbo about sweat glands. The end of it is, they don't know. But I do and I'll tell you. I learned it long ago in in third grade.

GIRLS ARE THE SOURCE OF ALL COOTIES EVERYWHERE

This is your only defense.

Now enjoy the weekend, kids. And go wash your hands before supper.

5 comments:

being purple... said...

ugh.

I dettol. Always. No way I am germier than a guy.

Ugh. Again.

Plus that's not even a word.

F.Y.I.

You articulate well.

Reigning Frog said...

The phrase "Ladies and Germs" may need to be revised after this shocking study.

BTW, I'll take whatever grant money funded this and put it to better use.

Roxrocks said...

Women are germier because we do all the cleaning and wiping of babies bottoms. When men start helping out around here...er, nevermind.

Cool study.

Anonymous said...

If we weren't cleaning up after your ass...or your kids...this would NOT be an issue.

Sorry, I really do like guys.

I'm just sayin'....

Skyzi said...

Girls have more germs because occassionally if you men are lucky we may touch you.....in dirty, dirty places....just saying.

Gotta go wash my hands now!