Wednesday, November 05, 2008

Dirt Devil Went Down To Georgia?

We can all hop off the political treadmills now. We can start ignoring the erectile dysfunction and furniture sale commercials instead of the political commercials. Hope your candidate/proposal won and that you voted for him, her or it as many times as you could.

Now that the pesky political process is out of the way for a while, we can get down to important news: Weird Stuff in Michigan. Yes, there is more going on back in Michigan than Kwame being in the joint, additional sext messages getting released and Chrysler joining GM. It's time for important news.

In Saginaw, police arrested a man for having sex with a vacuum cleaner. I'll say that one more time while you clean the Diet Coke off your computer monitor. Police arrested a man for "receiving sexual favors" from a vacuum cleaner. At a car wash. At 6:45 in the morning. Yes, there's a lot going on there.

We can probably all agree you've got to really want it if you're up to those kind of hijinx before 7:00 in the morning. Wonder if he was late to work at the comic book store?

And you know that vacuum cleaner probably wanted it.

With that conveniently located change machine and wide open mouth. Clearly, this is consensual. I wonder what a man and a vacuum cleaner could have been doing? Hmmm, maybe someone can enlighten me. Probably his car mats.

Now granted, I've never been aroused by industrial car wash equipment so I can't really relate to this young man. But if you're into that and you're 29 years old, you probably live in your parent's basement and have never kissed a girl.

So trust me, young pre-vert. Wait for a real live girl. They're much more fun to cuddle with at 6:45 am and you won't need 4 quarters.


Reigning Frog said...

I wonder if he dressed the vacuum in sexy lingerie.

Roxrocks said...

Diet coke? Are you saying I'm fat?!

Macotar said...

True enough, you'll need at LEAST 8 quarters

Onknees (not_onknees at the moment) said...

Im wondering with all these nifty chargeable handheld models, why he needed to go to the car wash.....My handheld shower head works well for me. i hope I am never tempted to go to the car wash at 7am OR pm to use the industrial strength pressure hoses...oh my...

being purple... said...

Why? WHY?

Who does this? Ever?

*shakes her head sadly in disbelief*

I am old.

Anonymous said...

Okay, don't most people have their very own vacuum cleaner with a hose? Surely, if you're into that kind of thing, you'd invest more than $1 for the sake of privacy. So very strange.

On the other hand, am I the only one who's thinking, "Easy cleanup?"