Sunday, January 23, 2005

At Night the Ice Weasels Come

I know all the Judeo-Christian belief systems always envision Hell as being hot and flaming. I think they've got it completely wrong. If you want to scare the flock (who can't think for themselves) into acting pious, Hell should be cold, icy and as craptacular as the weather in Michigan.

We had a year's worth of Hell last weekend. Winter Storm with a Blowing Snow Advisory means that it's going to snow horizontally. If the earth wasn't curved, you wouldn't get any accumulation at all.

The drifts are monstrous. If you go in a ditch, they'll find you in the Spring when it finally thaws.

And there are tracks through the snow. They hop and skip and jump and cavort. Some think they're squirrels. But they're wrong. I know they are the Ice Weasels. You don't want to be floundering in a drift when the Ice Weasels come.

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