Wednesday, June 20, 2007

A Dog & His Boy

I've discovered an amazing new trick that my dog (Guiness the Wonder Dog for those of you who have short memories) somehow learned on his own.

He has the amazing ability to make his poo stick to his butt. This is a wonderful trick.

Because he's then taught me that if I don't want to have poo in my house, I get to cut the hair around his asshole.

Yes, there are special safety asshole scissors that I get to use to carefully trim the dingleberries. This task is made more difficult when Guinness would rather play than sit patiently for his butt trim and when Wife and I are giggling uncontrollably.

I do recall that at one point, Guinness turned around and gave me a look that said, "When I get my thumbs, you sonsabitches won't be laughing anymore."

I don't ever remember Timmy having to trim Lassie's hinder. Maybe Shaggy and Scooby Doo did this, but again, I must have missed those scenes.

I'm guessing in the future, George Jetson had some kind of labor-saving device to handle this for Astro.

11 comments:

Chunks said...

Oh there's nothing like an asshole trimming to really humble a dog owner! I feel your pain.

Reigning Frog said...

The only thing worse in life is cleaning up after Lindsay Ho-Han after a night of clubbing.

Kim said...

I'm sorry? You trim the who on the where with the what?

Bahahahahahahahaha!

Sephyroth said...

I'm fairly certain this is something only folks who have shaggy-haired dogs have to contend with. I remember that when we had a poodle, he had some, well, stragglers get stuck once in a while...

Also, I'd like to invite you to submit your blog to the US Blogs community on Bumpzee. It's a great place to connect with other bloggers and find other great blogs that are here in the States.

Sephyroth
http://sephyroth.blogspot.com/

Misplaced said...

I'll bet theres a feitsh site that would pay good money to watch this happen.

They actually make asshole scissors? I have lived a very sheltered life.

Iwanski said...

Asshole Scissors. Oh, that is happening.

t2ed said...

Why do I think "Asshole Scissors" would be a great name for a rock and roll band?

They'd do Butthole Surfers covers of course.

Misplaced said...

Because it would be a great name for a rock and roll band. I'm thinking a "boy band" made up of guys in their 30's and 40's who are gaining a bit of weight and their faces sag ever so slightly with age. I'm in!!! My stage name will be Tyler....

PLAY IT PRETTY FOR ATLANTA!!!!!

t2ed said...

I'm also in as Dark. I'd like to go with the odd facial hair and spasmodic dance routines that are only slightly more appalling than our lack of musical talent.

Wicked H said...

t2ed, please do not pass this opportuity to open up a doggie waxing of the ass regions salon.

C'mon now...

kris said...

I have to do this to Kimmay all the time.