Monday, October 02, 2006

Finally a Knockout Movie

German film director Uwe Boll finally got in a few punches of his own. You may know Boll as the director of movies typically adapted from video games. He's done classics such as House of Dead, Alone in the Dark and Bloodrayne. Yeah, they were all stinkers and critically planned. Hard to believe. I'll confess to having seen none of those movies and don't remember the video games either.

Well Raging Boll (yes I stole that but it was just too good) challenged his critics. He fought four of them in Vancouver. And Uwe kicked their collective asses. Uwe beat up Richard Kyanka, Jeff Sneider, Chris Alexander and Nelson Chance Mintner. Yes, there is video of this over at Youtube. What did we do before the interweb? I have not watched any of these so don't know if it's too gross or what.

Now I don't know any movie critics other than Richard Roeper, Gene Shalit and Roger Ebert. And none of these gentlemen seem to me likely to excel at the sweet science. So whether or not Uwe knew anything about fisticuffs, his adversaries didn't seem likely to be stout warriors in the ring.


Quote of the story from critic Sneider:

"Then he started beating the crap out of my head," he said. "I think he's a jerk. This might be PR but I don't want to keep getting punched in the head."

This whole challenge misses the point. The critics shouldn't have been the ones fighting Uwe. It should have been anyone in the audience unfortunate enough to see any of his movies. Beating up the critics is like picking on the little brother of the girl who won't date you. I'm sure there is a large gentleman who likes the horror genre who was disappointed in Uwe's zombie movie. And I'd like to give this gentleman the opportunity to show his displeasure with the director.

If we do go this route and allow artists to engage in fisticuffs with their detractors, you know Clint Eastwood is never going to get a bad review. I don't care if he is 76, no one will want to mess with him.

And you know once we're allowed to punch directors, actors will be next. You'd better watch your back, Steve Guttenberg for a little something I call Police Academy Hell.
Any directors or actors you'd like to punch?

1 comment:

Hit me baby one more time said...

Tom Cruise. Not because of bad movies, just strange behavior. And John Travolta for Battlefield Earth-- not that I ever saw it.

Worst movie ever.... Ishtar. I'll save a few punches for the whole crew on that one!