Top Ten Little Known Facts About Santa Claus (with apologies to Dave)
10. Called the cops complaining about loud parties next door at the Fortress of Solitude
9. As a result of global warming, now makes his rounds wearing only a red speedo
8. Briefly married to Elizabeth Taylor
7. Often mistaken for John Goodman
6. Was once shot in the face by Dick Cheney during a Christmas Eve "misunderstanding"
5. Stockings aren't the only thing that are "hung"
4. Thinks Regis Philbin's Christmas album sucks
3. 75% jolly, 25% malt liquor
2. Has a permanent case of Snowballs
1. Britney Spears isn't the only one who likes to go without underwear
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3 comments:
#10
#5
#3
You are a genius.
Darn it, was done shopping but now need a new keyboard. Coffee snortage!!!!
Hysterical!
Are you and Santa related?
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