Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Top Ten Little-Known Facts About Santa Claus

Top Ten Little Known Facts About Santa Claus (with apologies to Dave)

10. Called the cops complaining about loud parties next door at the Fortress of Solitude
9. As a result of global warming, now makes his rounds wearing only a red speedo
8. Briefly married to Elizabeth Taylor
7. Often mistaken for John Goodman
6. Was once shot in the face by Dick Cheney during a Christmas Eve "misunderstanding"
5. Stockings aren't the only thing that are "hung"
4. Thinks Regis Philbin's Christmas album sucks
3. 75% jolly, 25% malt liquor
2. Has a permanent case of Snowballs
1. Britney Spears isn't the only one who likes to go without underwear

3 comments:

Iwanski said...

#10

#5

#3

You are a genius.

Wicked H said...

Darn it, was done shopping but now need a new keyboard. Coffee snortage!!!!

Hysterical!

Couldn't resist said...

Are you and Santa related?