Tuesday, June 28, 2005

The Animal Conspiracy aka Shark Triscuits

I wish I had discovered this, but it's the genius of Tim Bedore (as heard on NPR and The Bob & Tom Show) who first pointed out that all animals hate us.

There were three more attacks recently. The first two were shark attacks in Florida. I immediately screamed, "This was no boat accident."

Now I don't know what they make boogie boards out of, but I've renamed them Shark Triscuits. I can't count the number of times I've seen a shot of some boogie board with a shark bite taken out of it. I don't know if sharks love them or not, but people are just the meat that sit on top of a cracker to them.

The other attack involved a bear and a couple of campers and took place in Alaska.

Now this is getting just a little too spooky. Animals on both sides of America's coast are coordinating their attacks! You can't swim because of the sharks and you can't camp because of the bears. Is it any wonder we're seeing increasing urbanization?

As you make your plans for the 4th of July, look out for the squirrels. How do they fit in? In the words of Tim Bedore, "Surveillance obviously."

Be safe out there kids.

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