Tuesday, May 03, 2005

"Are You Trying To Seduce Me, Mrs. Gallagher-Smith?"

A caddie is suing his former golfer (and employer) for tricking him into getting her pregnant. It's true.

Gary Robinson, a 26 year old, single, male, ex-caddy, is suing Jackie Gallegher-Smith, a married LPGA professional, for fraud and intentional infliction of emotional distress.

Gary claims to have been in "an emotional state" after having recently broken up from his girlfriend. While he was on the rebound, Jackie hornswoggled him into having unprotected sex with her.

Because Florida law presumes that any child born into a lawful marriage is the result of that marriage, Gary doesn't have standing to request a DNA test. Thus, he's left with the only possible solution of my favorite Unfrozen Caveman Attorney, 4.4 million dollars.

My favorite quote of the suit: "He was put into the position of being an unwitting sperm donor."

Okay, I'll pass on the easy joke of the position he was put into. But an "unwitting donor?" If you do that with a part of the male anatomy, I'm willing to bet you're going to get sperm out of it.

What is this milky white fluid erupting from my penis? That's never happened before.

Gary also claims he'll never be able to find work as a caddy again. I disagree, he may actually have increased his marketability. But his card will have to read Caddy/Male Prostitute.

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