Thursday, June 04, 2009

Stray Cat Strut

A tip 'o the proverbial cap to [F]oxymoron who brought this to my attention.

There's a new drink coming to market. Sure, you've got your energy drinks, your sports drinks, you malt beverage drinks.

But now you've got Pussy.

That's right. A drink called Pussy. [F]oxy must have a better recurring internet search set up than me, because I get completely different stuff for that term.

From their web site: (along with my snarky comments)

Pussy is unique. Really, Pussy is unique? I thought it was all pink on the....well, nevermind.

Pussy is spontaneous, entertaining, optimistic and fun. It’s a starting point. Noooo, it's really kind of the ending point.

Pussy starts conversations. Yeah, you wouldn't believe how many times someone wants to talk to you when they see you have a Pussy in your hands.

It believes in having a good time as often as possible. But probably just once and then rolls over and falls quickly asleep despite all that talk about "as often as possible."

Pussy is Jonnie Shearer’s vision. He set up from his bedroom at 21 and launched in June 2004. We're sure you can understand that once you get some Pussy in your bedroom, it's going to take a few years for you to come out again. And it's good to see that Pussy is over 21. No one wants any trouble here. Right, Jerry Lee?

I'm assuming that Pussy comes in a bottle. Because you wouldn't want anyone to get all confused if it came in a can. Right, Kobe?

Wouldn't you have have liked to have been at the brainstorming session where Jonnie came up with the name Pussy? I mean, just think about the names that were rejected. And you knew we'd eventually get here, didn't you?
  • Cootchie Cola
  • Dr. Snapper
  • Muffin Dew
  • Pepsi Poon
  • Faygo Fish Taco (only available in the Midwest of course)
  • Vernor's Very Berry Vulva
  • Canada Not So Dry
  • R.C. Cooter
  • Honey Pot Hawaiian Punch
  • Orangina-vagina
  • Schwepp's Sideway Sloppy Joe
  • Sunkist Slit
  • Virgil's Vajayjay Root Beer
  • Red Bush (for extra energy)
  • Kool-Aid Kookie
  • Coca Cola Cameltoe

I'm sure there are others, kids. Feel free to play along at home. And thank goodness for the Urban Dictionary. I learned so many slang terms today.

6 comments:

Rox said...

Canada Not So Dry.

Truest thing you've ever said! Quick, lock the door, the Americans are coming.

foundinidaho said...

Priceless.

kitkat said...

I too liked Canada Not So Dry.

I just can't wait for the endorsements: "I love the way Pussy tastes."

I suppose if there's Bootie Beer, it was only a matter of time before they bottled Pussy too. Don't people know you can get Bootie and Pussy for free?

Dani said...

I can't wait to see the marketing on this drink. Maybe they'll encourage people to drink it...fast!

"Crush the pussy!"

That's all I got...

Reigning Frog said...

How about "Pussy Calore," the diet version.

Oh, and Mountain Douche.

Also, Dr. PAPper, Welch's Gash Juice, and Ocean Spray CranPussy.

Cat said...

Drinking Pussy may be all fine and good, but I'm waiting for Ass.