Nothing Could Possibly Go Wrong

Being an idiot-savant (or maybe I'm just half right), I like to kid that while there is no off position on the genius switch, I have more bad ideas by 8:00 am than most people do all day.

Well Marvel beat me to the punch this morning. Yes, it's Spiderman the Musical. As reported in the LA Times.

"Marvel Entertainment announced Thursday that the iconic web-slinger will be the subject of a major Broadway musical that will be directed by Tony winner Julie Taymor, who famously adapted "The Lion King" to stage, and feature music and lyrics by Bono and the Edge of U2."

I don't know who they'll get to play Spiderman, but I hope it's not an acrobatic little female moppet. You know, how they ruined Peter Pan?

And while I'm sure Julie Taymor's vision will be a lot better than director Sam Raimi's creation of the best superhero movies ever (granted, not a very high standard to be held to), we'll have Bono & Edge to bring it all home.

So in that vein, may I suggest the following musical numbers:

• Sunday Spidey Sunday
• 11 O'clock Doc Ock
• I Will Follow On My Web
• Where the Suits Have No Shame
• I Still Haven't Caught Who I'm Looking For
• Stories for Pre-Adolescent Prepubescent Boys
• With or Without Suit
• Swing (in the Name of Love)
• All I Want is Cash
• Two Heroes Fight as One
• Even Lamer than the Real Thing
• Trying to Throw Your Web Around the World
• Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me Upside Down in the Rain, Kill Me
• Spidery Day
• One (More Time to Whore Out)

But I'm sure the dancing numbers will help. How will this turn out? Bad.

Wow, I must listen to U2 even more than I watch Pandas.