Jamaica Me Crazy

Hello, kids! Did I miss anything? Yes, I'm finally back and it's been a shock to the system.

I went from this:

To this:

Had to put the car there for a bit of perspective. That's the snow they plowed in the parking lot by our Shaque D'amour.

Ah, it's good to get away, but it's hell to get back. Trust ya'll had a happy Turkey Day.

And my life will never be a reality show. No one would ever believe it was real and networks don't allow that kind of language on tv. I'm hoping instead to be the wacky neighbor who lives next door and walks in for three minutes of zaniness. Because that's about all most people can take.

A true story from my past:

At a wedding, the bride was chatting with my (then) live in girlfriend and I. She said, "You must just love living with T2ed. He's so funny. I'll bet you just laugh and laugh all the time."

Without missing a beat, my girlfriend replied, "Oh, you'd be surprised."

Hmmm, wonder why that relationship didn't work out?

That's okay, now I'm with my true sweetie. Love is when you finally meet that one, single soulmate who you want to drive crazy the rest of your life.

By the way, who had "3 months" in the Kid Rock & Pam Anderson pool? Boy if those two kids couldn't make it work, what chance do any of us have?