Friday, January 20, 2006

That's No Dead Man's Chest

According to the Tampa Bay Times, a pornographic movie featuring a pirate theme was filmed on the HMS Bounty while it was at the St. Peterburg pier. Knowing that sex sells, the Times has a whole feature called Porn at the Pier. The owner of the boat claims he was lied to and not told that the movie would be pornographic. Yeah, and I thought all those hot girls were topless because they liked me.

The name of the movie is simply Pirates, which isn't very creative no matter how much effort you put into the film production. And I thought they always went with something a lot more clever when they ripped off commercial titles for the porn version. I still remember seeing the title "Hannah Does Her Three Sisters" somewhere and laughing out loud. So if you're going to rip off Pirates of the Caribbean, you've got to do better than just Pirates. May I suggest the following: (and you knew we were headed her didn't you?)

  • Cap'n Jack Does More Than Swallow
  • That's Not a Peg Leg
  • Second Mate
  • Shiver Me Other Timber
  • Blow the Man Up & Down
  • Open That Chest
  • An STD is not a Pirate's Curse
  • Cabin Girl
  • Ship Shape
  • Gunner's Mate
  • Thrust, Parry and Thrust Again
  • Curse of the Black Girl
  • Mutiny on Her Bounty
  • Swimming With Bowlegged Women
  • Yo, Ho, Oh My God!
Feel free to submit your own, kids.

2 comments:

Angie T said...

How about:

Walk my plank

Lame, I know

My favorite is Shiver me other Timber.

Anonymous said...

Would this be starring Johnny "Deep?"