My Pop's goal is to talk to everyone in America. Be glad he doesn't travel internationally.Every winter my Mom & Pop go to Southern California to annoy a whole new set of people. I swear this story is true.
They're grocery shopping in SoCal. By shopping, I mean my Mom is inside doing all the work (from a list and with coupons of course) while Pop is sitting outside on a bench enjoying the sun. A down on his luck type sits on the bench next to my Dad. After a bit, the following conversation begins.
"You look like Jesse James," says the homeless man.
"He's dead you know," says Dad who looks nothing at all like Jesse James. Unless Jesse James always wore a windbreaker, a baseball cap and had his hands in the back pockets of his jeans and usually frequented hardware stores.
"No really, you do." Long pause. "Jesse, loan me 50 cents." This is not, in fact, a question.
"What do you need 50 cents for?" says Dad/Jesse.
"I'm going to go buy a hamburger over at that McDonald's."
"Hang on. I only have a quarter," says Dad/Jesse. Mom's always kept Dad on a short leash because of his propensity to talk to strangers.
"That's okay. I'm halfway there then." Homeless guy leaves and departs in the general direction of McDonald's while Dad continues to wait for Mom. Mom finally finishes shopping and both head to the car to put away the groceries.
From across the parking lot someone begins yelling, "Jesse, Jesse, wait!" It's Homeless Guy (post burger) running toward my Dad. "God Bless you, Jesse." He then begins to take off his sweatshirt. "You have to take this. You did me a solid and now I'm returning the favor." Dad protests, but winds up taking the sweat shirt.
Yes, my Dad takes clothing from the homeless!
Later at their condo, Mom washes the sweatshirt and then gives it to my sister-in-law when she complains she's cold. No mention is ever made of how they obtained the sweatshirt from the homeless person. Sis in law loves that sweatshirt by the way.
Why do I live far away from my parents? Now you know.
1 comment:
Actually, your dad sounds fun! I'd hang out with him.
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